Summary: During the Night of Tears, in an attempt to be selfless and haunted by doubts, Edward decides to leave once more. Will Bella crumble or go after him? Will they be able to resurrect a once in a lifetime love? AU, Post Eclipse.
Why should you read this?
Were you left wanting after Eclipse? Were you ticked off at the treatment Edward received at the hands of Bella? Were you outraged about the kiss? Perhaps you felt that the original was severely lacking in explanation as to Bella's behavior and her continued coddling of Jacob? Maybe you thought that the young mutt was way out of line with his manipulations of Bella and the guilt he used to keep her tied to him? Perhaps you thought that Bella's behavior was callous and uncaring? What kind of person haggles for sex during a proposal? What kind of person kisses her fiance's worst enemy hours after getting engaged?
My story explores a what-if scenario that came out of my distaste for Eclipse. I'm Team Edward. The treatment he received in book 3 made my skin crawl. I felt his pain. I hurt when he did, especially in those situations where his love for Bella superceded all common sense. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered at what point a human man would have thrown up his hands and said "to hell with this". Edward isn't afforded that option in the canon story, because he has no choice but to love Bella. SM gave him no out, no matter how badly he was treated. And in a coup de grace, after receiving the heinous treatment all throughout Eclipse, his enemy gets to imprint on his newborn child.
The story begins with 8 chapters in the first arc, with the POV switching between Bella and Edward between chapters. While Bella cries over Jacob, Edward comes to the conclusion that she is in pain because she has to give up the friendship with the dog. From there, his thoughts go off on a tangent - what if Bella is crying because she would rather be with Jacob, but is honoring her promise to Edward out of a sense of responsibility? As he thinks more about her recent behavior, the 'contract' of their engagement, the night in the tent, he comes to the conclusion that the message is "Edward, I choose you but it's killing me." Out of love and with renewed doubt whether Bella truly loves him, Edward decides to give her up, thinking that is what she really wants. He's angry, hurt and in so much pain after the last few months that he is not thinking clearly. He leaves town against the advice of his family and chooses not to confront Bella with his doubts and thoughts.
Bella wakes up that morning to a note that Edward has left town. From there, the first arc takes them both on a separate journey of self-realization that ends in Chapter 8 and is fairly angsty. The 2nd arc begins in chapter 9 where they finally begin to have open, honest conversations, explore their intimacy and lay themselves bare before the other. Bella gets the chance to address her fears and her reasons for why she treated Edward the way he did, and Edward gets to show Bella what he's really feeling inside.
This is a WIP. Currently, 13 chapters are posted on FFn with another 10 or so planned.
Where did I get my inspiration:
Credit for the 'what-if' that spawned the story must go to KzintiKiller whom I met on AdultTwilightFans.com, a site that is dedicated to those of us beyond our teenage years. Part of my inspirations also came from my other WIP, Transcendence, which is a retelling of Eclipse in EPOV. Writing those chapters, expanding on Edward's thoughts and emotions, I became more and more enraged at Bella and Jacob, and needed to get that off my chest. Resurrection formed in my mind as a means to an end - to right the wrongs in Eclipse.
What do I think is the BEST thing about my fic:
It gives a voice to Edward and Bella both, allowing them to have open and honest conversations that address the issues in their relationship, thus leading to a new maturity and intimacy. They go from hiding their emotions and thoughts to openly discussing the issues and finding mature and realistic compromises, thus gaining a better understanding of each other and themselves.
I hope you'll consider me for your blog. Please let me know if you need additional information. I appreciate this opportunity.
Also, you can find me on Twitter @twilightmomofto