April 5, 2010

Teas With "Rob": Volume 3


Ladies time put on your company manners once again….
(an excited murmur falls across the room)
(Sue speaks a little louder so she can be heard)

SOON Lady Tater will be joining us with a very nervous Rob so ladies I beg of you do not disrespect the tea room!

(Sue has clearly lost control of the crowd they have had a touch too much of ladies Taters special tea and I think AngryBagerGirl found Sue’s brownies! Uh oh!!)

the music of course gets turned up as SUE tries to answer the phone a frantic and very ill sounding Lady Tater is on the other end…

Lady Tater: Sue dear I am not feeling …umm well today..

Sue : sure just throw my ass to those cougars why don’t you!

LT: Really dear I am being nursed back to health by a VERY attentive …fellow

Sue:Well you a lucky woman my dear

LT tell the dears that I will be there with them next week I am faxing you his answers love just read them (Sue hears a little rustling) oh hey ..you will just have to wait…oh OK *CLICK*

Sue: Tater?? HEY !!!

(the fax machines comes to life at least she sent me that! WHEW)

I read the note at the bottom of the page and it says “pour them liberal libations it will make it all better” Love LT

Alright time to face them!!

I walk out and it is a full blown PARTY they see me and all goes SILENT (oh shit)
luckily they are all friends and they will not maim me too bad

I fill them all in on what happened and I proceed to drink my "tea" and read off the answers Lady tater has provided us

Tara :*Raises hand* I have one! Whats your favorite position? Oh, and, will you sing for me?

Lady Tater: When I asked my dear boy this question, he quirked his brow and asked me to clarify whether or not he was meant to sing while in the flying cobra. I explained that I believed they were separate questions, but, by all means, enlighten us. Lady Tater: To which he answered, I just did.

Sue: I think we will need to have a KamaSutra reference guide LOL
Sue: Here is our next Question
From Lee:
Are you a boob or ass man?

Lady Tater: When I asked this question of our darling Rob, his brow furrowed., oddly, he asked if those were his only choices. This, of course, intrigued me and I pressed him further and coerced him with a perfunctory flash of my lady pillows. He then confided in me that the first thing he notices about a lady is her eyes. But only long enough to figure out if she was drunk, then went straight for the tits. Question of the ages answered.

Vicky asks simply Blondes or Brunettes?

Lady Tater: The wee darling smirked at me when I asked for hair colour preference. He then asked me to clarify if we were talking about the dye job or what she looks like doing naked cartwheels.
Lady Tater: And then answered, were it the latter, he prefers bald...

Steph Asks:

my question for Rob is..What would be your favorite fan fiction lemon to act out? Be descriptive!

Lady Tater: When asking our lovely Rob, he blushed, admitting that he frequents fanfiction sights. Of course, he clarified, it is for character research. To coax more of an answer out of him, I hiked my skirt a wee bit higher and crossed my ankle over my knee. At the site of my La Perla, he quickly shouted "The OFFICE"
When questioned as to why, apparently he has a fetish about removing underware in a ripping motion and keeping... souveniers.
I asked him if he'd like to practice. So, we will be taking a 2 hour break.

~~~2 hours later~~~~

Question from Angry Badger Girl:
What size is your package and may I measure it myself?

Lady Tater: It was my turn to smirk whilst wistfully remembering the Cock Divot incident. While playing a game of football with his mates, and no not mating, our dear boy saw a lovely set of casabas on a young blonde on the sidelines. He, of course, could not control the reaction of The Bishop, nor could he keep his coordination in check. As a result, he fell painfully on said appendage, leaving an 18 inch hole in the turf. Now, before we inflate our young love's ego, let us clarify, he was promptly tackled, forcing him 6 inches into the dirt. If my math is correct, I believe that leaves us with 12 inches of bliss. As for the second half of the question, alas, our sweet did not answer. He merely stood, unbuttoned his chinos, commando by the way, and popped The Bishop out for all to see.
Of course, I dangled the aforementioned La Perla in front of him to encourage full...

Sue: from Nikki
When is he gonna fly my ass up to Vancouver so we can fuck any position he wants Gentlemans choice…

Lady Tater: As to the first part of the question, our boy took a long swig of what was definitely no longer tea and tapped his finger on his forehead. Then, true to form, he asked me what she looked like and what she thought of The Flag of Cupid.

Lady Tater: Defn: Flag of Cupid:Full of desire, saying sweet words,
approach her with your body stiff as a pole
and drive straight forward
to pierce her lotus and join your limbs:
experts call it "Madandhvaja" (The Flag of Cupid

Vicky: Do the English do it better?

Lady Tater: Our darling love bit his lip, deep in thought over this. Obviously loyal to his countrymen and to the nationality of his own cock, he nodded slowly, adding a caveat. Apparently, he clarified that Englishmen were by far the best lovers due to the ability to sound romantic while grunting like a rutting farm hog, but women were much more diverse. Each culture has it's ups and downs, ins and outs, pros and cons. By this time, I had stuck to the ins and outs and tuned out the rest of the conversation.

Question from Dave How do you keep the sparkly Sheen on the Peen does this involve anything special?

Lady Tater: Our sweet child giggled at this, clarifying that Edward's privates sparkled, or at least they did in theory as they had not gone as far as the make up for that on set, but his, most assuredly, does not. Having seen The Bishop on an occasion or two, I can attest to the fact that it does not *actually* sparkle, although a Hallelujah halo of sorts surrounds it like an aura. I did explain, with a dusting of Kama Sutra honey dust he could rectify the sparkly erection conundrum. He said he'd look into it. I handed him the jar from my purse.

Vicky: Ask Rob...does his love juice actually taste like Skittles?
Lady Tater: A perplexed look came over our young one's face when I asked if his manly love juice did, indeed, taste like Skittles. Apparently, our love has never "tasted the rainbow" (although he insists he's hit that with most cultures), when I handed him a tasty candy, he smiled in delight. He did confide that he could not rightly answer this question as he had never tasted sufficient quantities of his own lust spurt to judge the flavour rightly. Sighing deeply, I dropped to my knees for the necessary research.
And the answer, alas, is no. Caramel corn.
Question from Gia: "Do you think Kristen is not well liked on the set because, as rumour has it, you're dipping your nib in the company ink?"
I asked Rob this ubiquitous question and he huffed indignantly and rolled his eyes. It was a long moment before I could convince him to continue and I had to do a quite good "bend and snap" before he'd open his mouth to talk. Although he's aware of the press, he had been fairly certain, that his lovely fans would know that he prefers not to piss where he sleeps, sticking to random encounters with women he'll likely not see again. As his confidant, I can attest to the fact that he does, indeed, keep his pole from the company pond, unless, of course, there is a particularly well endowed extra on set.

Question from AJ :
Do you have a running script for antibiotics or do you get them on an as needed basis?

Our Dear boy assures us that he most definitely wraps the bishop upon each worship at the altar of feminity However he gets a bi weekly penicillin shot to be sure the cathedral is free of demons....


On to the sad reality my dears our Lady Tater is suffering horribly today which is why this is the way it is. I have said before, I am not a writer but I figure hey you all read my shit most of the time so you can just deal.

Lady Tater my love get well soon I hope your head stops pounding and the gnomes who are sticking ice picks in your eyes and temples all die a horribly fiery death!!



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