April 10, 2010

Screen Queens: Christmas love affairs


Giada: Before we begin today’s post, I think it's imperative to mention the wonderful Brittany Murphy, who passed away Sunday at the very young age of 32. Absolutely horrible.

Sue: Yes, sympathies to her family, from us

Giada: Especially right before Christmas. Heartfelt hugs to her husband and all who loved her.

Sue: So sad to lose someone so young

Giada: Absolutely. And not that we're trying to start this week's post off on a sour note, but... felt compelled to mention it.

Ok. So, Sue, tell us what we're talking about this week, hoor.

Sue: We are talking about Romance in Christmas movies

Giada: YAY! What better time for romance than at Christmas...

Sue: YUP

Giada: I got engaged on Christmas Eve... fun fact. :)

Sue: I got married 2 weeks before Christmas. December 16th

Giada: She did.

Sue: YUP

Giada: And we all said 'helicopter' for Dave, just for her

Sue: Special thanks to those who helped give hubs his anniversary gift. He loved it!

Giada: Can’t beat a guy who is so easily pleased.

Sue: Ok, on to the good shit. Our first movie is an unusual selection, for a romance movie. You all know movies like ‘It's a Wonderful Life’, but this one is the antithesis.

Giada: *cue horror music*

Sue: It’s called ‘The Ref’.

The Ref is an irreverent view of Christmas - you know the REAL Christmas for most of us experience. It has everything: juvenile delinquents, a thief (played by the very hot Dennis Leary – I love that Irish MOFO).

Giada: Yes, he is definitely a prime example of Irish excellence. *looks to Shiv for agreement*

Sue: And, of course, IN LAWS. The best is the MIL, who makes other MILs look like SAINTS.

Giada: which means this is a good 'prep' movie

Sue: The couple is on the verge of divorce

Sue: HELL, this is a great ‘I-survived-Christmas-with-the-fam-snuggle-on-the-couch-with-the-hubs’ movie! That is what we do!!

Giada: I thought you did something under the Christmas tree...

Sue: well yes we do that but on Christmas Eve,

Giada: haha

Sue: After we shoo the kids to bed. We get dirty under the tree.

Giada: Ok, back to crazy ass in-laws.

Sue: OH the crazy ass MIL, she is something else. In this scene, the hubs who, has been under his mother’s thumb forever, is trying to talk to his wife about their break up. His wife keeps talking about how they had it so good in New York, but he reminds her of what REALLY happened. Watch with us as we see him take an iron to the tree, to get the attention back to him.

Giada: please do.

Giada: :)

Sue: Isn't that something?

Giada: See, dear reader, you *aren't* the only one who is fucking crazy over the holidays. And apparently, neither are we.

Sue: YUP. Best line to a mother EVER. Sadly, the clip cuts off before he says, "You know what I am gonna get you for Christmas next year, mother? A big wooden cross, so whenever you feel neglected you can climb on up and nail yourself to it".

Notice the love in his wife's eyes when he says that to his mom. She falls for him all over again RIGHT THERE.

Giada: hahaha

Sue: I know you see it Gia… LOL

Giada: Yes ma’am, I do. Wanna save a marriage? Watch your hubs stand up to his overbearing mama


Giada: NEXT we have.... Bridget Jones' Diary.

Sue: *SIGH* COLLIN. GOD I love watching him walk away… or talking… or wet.

Giada: Now, dear reader of this superb blog, I know you're thinking to yourself...

You're saying 'self, that has nothing to fucking do with Christmas'… but it does.


Giada: Let's let Sue have her Colin moment...


Giada: *elevator music*

Sue: huge fan… shhhhh

I am having a moment

Giada: Don't tell Rob, you guys. He might get jealous.

Sue: That's ok there is plenty of me to go around. They can share.

Giada: Ok, so BJD... because that is a fuckton of shit to type. This movie, if you've been living under a ROCK, is pretty much the epitome of average-girl-ness.

Sue: BTW she was a size 14 in that movie. Fucking HOT of her.

Giada: Bridget is a woman fighting against everything.

Sue: And two awesome Brit guys. Guhhhhhh

Giada: Her age, her weight, her job, her lack of man-having... Until she makes a new year's resolution, and then everything changes.

Well, I don't think the smoking and the drinking necessarily change, but the love life certainly does.

Sue: SURE DOES. She has to choose between the TWO hot guys!!

Giada: And how much better can you do in the looks department than Hugh Grant and Colin Firth? Really?

Wait. Don't answer that.

Sue: WELL, you know me. I would choose BOTH.

Giada: Yes, you would.

So we're gonna play a little clip here...

Sue: WHICH CLIP?? So many to choose from…

Giada: and let you decide who should, erhm, come out on top. :)

Sue: the kiss? Or the declaration? Or the fight scene… the best faggy fight scene EVER.

Giada: They're all so good I can't pick, dammit. :)

Sue: maybe we should add all of them

Giada: We certainly could. But we'll keep it to a few of our favorites.

Sue: OK, next we have another more recent movie, ‘The Holiday’.

Jude Law. Need I say more?


Giada: NOPE. Although he’s a nanny-fucker.

Sue: I would be a nanny for him, NO PROBS.

Giada: J

Sue: This is a movie about 2 women… that chick from Shrek

Cameron Diaz

Giada: There you go.

Sue: And the chick from Titanic. WTF is her name?

It will come to me, I swear it will.


Giada: Kate Winslet. Jesus.

Sue: Yeah her.


Giada: Get your peoples straight. lol

Sue: I barely remember my name. And we all know I called hubs Mark for the first 4 months we were dating/fucking.

Giada: bwahahaha!

Sue: and his name is Dave.


Giada: Nice.

Sue: These two are having issues in their love lives. Cameron's live-in boy toy is cheating on her. And poor Kate, well, she is just a mess.

Giada: Poor, poor Kate.

Sue: She is "best friends" with the guy she loves, and he uses her, but not for sex.

Giada: Which we all know ends badly. All the fucking time.


Sadly the poor girl is not even getting LAID.

So, they happen upon a web site where you can swap houses, and vacay at the other person’s house.

And that is what they do!!

Now you KNOW the men are gonna come in here somehow. Jude Law is Kate's brother - that is how he and Cameron meet.

Giada: Good genes in that family, yeah.

Sue: And the other love interest is Jack Black

I KNOW, I KNOW, unlikely, however, he is AWESOME in this semi-serious role and as a love interest for Kate. AWESOME.

I mean that shit.

Giada: We love Jack Black.

Sue: I ADORE HIM. Tenacious D is fab.

Giada: He's pretty goddamn awesome no matter what he's in. Not like Will Ferrell, who is also quite good. But I can only handle about one out of every three of his movies.

Sue: he even did well on Yo Gabba Gabba… LOL

SO, here is the clip…

Giada: ok, roll clip.

Giada: I have one more.

Alright, for the next movie, and this one will appeal to those who feel like they need to 'get something' from a film, we have ‘The Family Stone’.

I just adore Diane Keaton. It's true... Ever since I saw her in Father of the Bride, then First Wives Club... /girlcrush

But I digress...

Ok, so. Short little plot outline - Everett Stone, the 'perfect' son, brings his girlfriend home to the family for the holidays with the expectation (on her part, I think) that he is going to propose to her. She meets his family, whom are all very close knit and loving, and also include Everett’s siblings - unmarried Ben, deaf, gay Thad (with his African American partner, Patrick), pregnant Susannah (with her first child, adolescent Elizabeth), and outspoken Amy.

Needless to say, Meredith doesn't fit in very well with the fam. But her sister Julie shows up to keep her company, and things get interesting. It's pretty intense at times (and that’s me being a wussperv), but it's an all-around good movie. Not necessarily a feel-good movie, but it's not something you're staring at afterwards saying 'what the fuck did I just see here?'

Sue: Sounds good

Giada: It is. And to prove it, here’s the trailer (it's all I could find that didn't have music piped over it...).

Sue: I have never seen it

Giada: I have to be in the mood, honestly. But I like it.

Sue: I can see that. But that can be said for all movies!

Giada: Sure can. NEXT!


I GOT AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE. I am a HUGE fan of old movies, and if you want to know about Classic films, talk to ME.

Giada: She's a connoisseur.

Sue: I got two goodies for you. FIRST, ‘The Lemon Drop Kid’, starring Bob Hope.

Giada: BOB HOPE!

Sue: This is a story based off of a Damon Runyan short story. A small time thief owes money to the mob BIG TIME.

Giada: Like, ‘La Belle et La Bête’ style big time.

Sue: So, he travels to NY, hoping to hit up some of his other mob friends for money

Like 10 grand… and he does not have a nickel to his name. Remember, 10 grand was BIG MONEY then.

Well this bright boy comes up with a scheme to get the money. He starts a home for Old Dolls

(this means women)

Old broads who can't get into other old folks homes, because maybe they did some time in the past… and he convinces all his small time hood friends to join him in raising money for the Old Dolls home by being Street Corner Santas.


Giada: NICE.

Sue: It is FABULOUS.

Giada: And if Bob Hope's in it, you know that shit is gonna be funny.

Sue: He even dresses in drag.

This movie introduced the world to the great old Christmas song ‘Silver Bells’.

Here is a clip of that tune, sung with his co-star Marilyn Maxwell.

Sue: Ok next we will talk about ‘Holiday Inn’. This is another terrific classic Christmas movie with romance in it. ‘Holiday Inn’ stars Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, two performers…

Giada: Whom we also adore...

Sue: I love them.

Who work together with the love of their life. Bing wants to quit show biz and marry the girl and move to a farm in Connecticut. He thinks farming will be the life of leisure. LOL…

Stupid fool.

Giada: hahaha

Sue: I oughta know. I live on a hobby farm.

Giada: take it from the organic chicken farmer, folks

Sue: YUP

Giada: :)

Sue: It’s not easy work.

Giada: Farming is NO JOKE. Have also been there and done that shit. <--- Kentucky girl, here.

Sue: Well, he figures he will get to rest on all holidays, so it shows him going through the year with the chores he has to do on the holidays. He ends up in the insane asylum for a bit of rest. LOL

Giada: seriously?? BAHAHAHAHA

Sue: Just for a rest. So, he goes back to NY to see his buddy and his ex, and tells them about his brilliant idea of how to make the farm a working inn. He calls it Holiday Inn, and it will only be open on holidays, with special songs and performances. MY KINDA PLACE.

So, the first person he hires is a flower shop girl. She comes to the inn for an audition and they end up covered in snow. So while her clothes are drying, and while she waits till the next day for the train he sings her the song he wrote for that night.

And it is the world’s introduction to ‘White Christmas’.

Giada: :)

And THAT is the clip I am playing for you.

Giada: Lots of good classics here...


From us to you.

Giada: And a fucking happy new year!

Sue: And tell us, what is your favorite Christmas movie?

The Ref

Sadly The Ref clip cuts off before the BEST LINE IN MOVIE HISTORY

where he says
"you know what I am gonna get you for Christmas next year mother a big wooden cross so whenever you feel neglected you can climb on up and nail yourself to it"

or something like that I know I am close LOL


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