April 9, 2010

Screen Queens: The Chemistry of a Kiss


Sue: I was chatting with da hoors talking about this and that and some stuff happening on twitter when one of the hoors mentioned some interesting info about the whole RobSten thing. Are they or are they not?Mmy stance on this is simply this there is NOT enough evidence to say so either way

Well when people hear me say that the "shippers" tend to come out and scream things like

Giada: lol

Sue: THE ON SCREEN KISS IS SO HOT they must be fuckin

umm OK

well NO they are actors

Giada: yeah, not necessarily true.

Sue: they get PAID to make it look that damn good then strangely enough

they say this lovely contradictory comment

Giada: do tell

Sue: The kiss in NM was not as hot because



I wanna know HOW one can tell

together or not based on onscreen chemistry

SO GIA kept talking about it and ME BEING ME

have a FONT of useless knowledge about movies


I have seen THOUSANDS of movies and know tons of trivia

and I also read IMbD so

Giada: Because that's what you do when you live in WI... lol

Sue: fuck you

Giada: *mwah* you love it, bitch.

Sue: thank you

Sue: this is what we got

Gia take it away

Giada: Ok. First, before we get started on all this, I'm gonna throw my personal opinion out there - I don't fucking care either way.

Sue: not our business

Giada: They're both too goddamn young to know what they really want, so...

Sue: (even though I am guessing NOT)

Giada: Having said as much... and Sue hypothesizing on said romance (or lack thereof), we've compiled a list of six (haha, I just typed sex... rofl)


Sue: lol you been dicktamized

Giada: movie couples that exhibit a good example of excellent on-screen chemistry.

I have.

Sue: lucky hoor

Giada: *consoles the oonie*

Sue: get some ice for that oonie

Giada: lol


Sue: OK

Giada: The six movies we chose were, in no particular order...

Sue: Bringing up Baby

Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant

Giada: Kate and Leopold

Meg Ryan and Hugh 'I'm a hot sexy happily married Australian' Jackman

Sue: Pillow Talk

Rock Hudson and Doris Day

Giada: Ever After

Drew Barrymore and Dougray Scott

Sue: Little Ashes

Robert Pattinson and Javier...who the fuck cares he is HOT some hoor find out his name for me

Giada: Twilight, numero uno with the RobSten.

We're gonna break it down for you and explain how, even under the direst of circumstances, i.e. marriage, sexual orientation, etc, you can still have hotness on the screen without anything going on off-screen.

Sue: BINGO that is why it is called ACTING

Giada: Exactement. :)

Sue: I have done MINIMAL research

Giada: Sue? First pick, bb

Giada: Exactement. :)

Sue: First movie up is Bringing Up Baby. This is a screwball Romantic comedy that I adore

Giada: side note: I've never seen it. *shamed hoor*

Sue: the tension on the screen is fantastic it has many great comedic elements AND you can watch the whole thing on You Tube and laugh yourself senseless.

Giada: wow, fucking triple play there, sis.

Sue: I sure did

this is one of those feel good movies with lots of silliness

Giada: So what was it exactly about the characters that you felt made the zing happen?

Sue: the romance develops between the two lead characters in a most unusual way Stuffy professor and crazy heiress. You feel the zing in the relationship whenever they look at each other

I also think when her dress rips and he has to walk her OUT of the ballroom with her butt exposed

that helps

he covers her so she is not too embarassed

Giada: which is always very nice and gentlemanly

but you know he probably tried for the assgrab

Sue: anyways these two chase an escaped leopard around cause it is her aunt’s pet and he is trying to chase her pet dog around cause it has this dinosaur bone

long story short they fall for each other

the end of the movie is where they kiss and live happily ever after

my point in it is that after they go through tons of shit they still fall for each other

and fall into each other’s arms sharing a loving kiss

this is a 1930's style screen lovers kiss

Giada: which we all know, are fucking awesome. Just saying.

Sue: not the lip lock with tongue you see in newer movies

but not less hot

the build up to the kiss is what makes it hot


is what makes it hot

Giada: well, when you think of that era, which is pretty much when I should have lived, btw, you think of the way that those relationships progressed. Sex was, obviously, taboo back then, and so even a modern film wouldn't have much. I think that innocence is a big turn on, and while most adults in the 30's were NOT innocents, they were a hell of a lot less obvious than our hoorish 21st century selves.

Would you agree?

Sue: yes

but that does not mean that things did not happen

they did

Giada: absolutely.

They weren't naive…

Sue: you just did not hear about it because it was NOT polite to talk about

Giada: but you didn't have all this speculation.

Sue: a great deal of sexual innuendo happened

it was SUBTLE

Giada: well, sure.

Sue: lighting a cigarette was a sign for sex

Metaphor, really

come on baby light my fire


Giada: lol

Giada: There are still references made in the media to cigs and sex.

Sue: oh there are LOADS of references in these movies

you have to be open to them

Giada: So we agree that the chemistry is there...

Sue: I agree

here is the clip

Giada: but do we have any reference to whether they were having an off-screen relationship?

Sue: I know this

Cary Grant was married 5 times

Katherine Hepburn was married once and divorced and had a torrid love affair with

Spencer Tracy

I would not call it torrid

they were truly in love

however he was married, she was not

Giada: that can still be torrid, if you do it right.

Sue: YUP

SO while Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn acted in a few movies together

they were NOT in that kind of a relationship

Giada: *BUT*
they were able to play convincing roles on-screen.


Giada: and nothing but the butt...


off track.


Sue: and bringing up baby is not even the best example

Philadelphia Story would be a better example of their chemistry

Giada: Alrighty... Next up is Kate and Leopold.

Everyone, please... take just a moment to picture your favorite Hugh Jackman moment...





OH Hugh

Giada: Indeed. :)

Sue: dont get me started on HUGH

Giada: lol

Alright. A brief summary for those of you who were avoiding romance flicks in 2001...

Kate is a modern day corporate climber. Leopold is from the 19th century. The invention of the elevator and jumping through rips in time off the Brooklyn Bridge are involved.

Sue: ahhhh and horseback riding

Giada: oh, god, don't forget the horseback riding...

But at any rate, you have an actor who is married, quite happily, and an actress who has never been anything but classy...

Sue: but the movie is HOT

Giada: It is.

Sue: the point is the kissing and relationship ON SCREEN are very believable

Giada: If you love period shit (as I do... ) you will love this. It's got a little bit of everything.

Sue: the heat is believable

Giada: It really is. You're rooting for them the ENTIRE time... from the first argument over the goddamn toaster

Sue: that is part of why we enjoy movies


Giada: to the first kiss on the roof.

Sue: the toaster


the dancing

Giada: to the spectacular, gutsy ending.

yes! The dancing!

Sue: another movie sexual innuendo

I gotta see that movie again

Giada: Absolutely. He's showing her how it's done, and you can just see that it's the most unbelievably sexy thing she's ever experienced in. her. life.

Perhaps I will gift you some K and L with your stonebrook wine. :)

Sue: ohh I love the movie it is one of those rainy afternoon romances

Giada: So, Kate and Leopold, another perfect example of working on-screen chem, without the messy off-screen bullshit.

it is... and it's awesome.

I was pregnant with wildman when that was out

Sue: I am sure I was PG with someone LOL

Giada: and I alternately bawled and laughed the entire time, EVERY time

You probably were... lol

Sue: OK next we have


Giada: YES!!!!


Sue: now NOT everyone can appreciate the glory that is Doris Day and Rock Hudson

I happen to LOVE them


Giada: me also!

Sue: these are the movies I was watching while my friends were watching slasher movies

This is the story of a Playboy

she is a decorator

he is a playboy and i forget what else he does

they end up hearing each other on their phones because the line somehow got crossed

she is disgusted by him, he thinks she is a prude

they eventually after much antagonizing and some ofthe BEST banter EVER seen on the silver screen (ask AngryBadgerGirl if you don’t believe me)

Giada: I think that the storyline is a perfect set up.

Sue: it is lovely

Giada: Oh, I am on that bandwagon, sis.

Sue: well he asks her to decorate his apartment

she is still disgusted with his playboy persona

and you gotta admit Rock Hudson is a HOTTIE

Giada: yes. yes he is.

Sue: so she designs the perfect playboy apartment for him


she finds the tackiest, ugliest shit she can and makes it look like a bordello vomited in his apartment

well he storms over to her apartment drags her outta bed and carries her to his apartment

oh there is red velvet

Giada: oh shit.

Sue: and tassels


Giada: I need to watch this again.

Sue: yes you do!

it is again ALL on you Tube

the point you see the love is when he is ranting to her about how he dumped all his girls, destroyed their numbers for HER he asked her to decorate the apartment for them so they could get married and move in together


he called her his bride

Giada: YES!

Sue: her eyes fuckin sparkle




it was a thing of beauty CALLED ACTING

Giada: absolutely.

Sue: wanna know why??? well watch the clip first

Giada: Women back then KNEW what they were doing.

Sue: then I will tell

this chicka was hitched a few times

and Rock, well Rock was gay

Giada: well, we all know that. :)

Sue: he was a gay man all his life

Giada: He was, indeed. Which goes to prove our point, times a million


Sue: he came out in the 80s when he was dying of AIDs it was his hope he died of heart disease before dying of AIDs because of how bad it would look,at the time. He was the first big name person to announce they had AIDs

Giada: classy guy, Rock was. Great talent.

Sue: In my eyes did not take away from his sex appeal

AWESOME talent

Giada: not at all.

Sue: fantastic actor and all around awesome dude!

Giada: People talk about Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhal in Brokeback Mountain, how taxing it was on them to perform like that.

Rock Hudson did it EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Sue: YUP he had no choice

no one could know he was gay

it would have meant societal suicide

Giada: for him, as well as ANY man closely associated with him

Sue: yes

Ok talk about the next movie I gotta go smoke quick LOL

Giada: lol

Sue: all this talk of Rock makes me need a cigarette

Giada: Alright, the next movie we chose was Ever After

Giada: People are really mixed on Drew Barrymore, but honestly, you have to admit the girl has talent.

She also has one of the longest running film careers that *I* know of...

So another brief little rundown, if you haven't seen this movie. It's basically Cinderella, dressed up for the late nineties. Also starring Dougray Scott as the Henry, the prince, and I'm here to tell you, those two lit it up.

I was in high school at the time, and I watched this movie CONSTANTLY.

I think that the really interesting thing about this particular adaptation was that at the end, when Henry finds out that Danielle is a servant, it DOES matter, for a while.


I love this movie. I got a thing for Drew

a girl crush if you will

Giada: Yeah, I do love Drew..

Sue: The screen crackles when she is on

another in the great line of Barrymores

Giada: And Dougray Scott really isn't well known, and he hasn't been in anything huge that I know of since, but this was something that he worked really well in.

Sue: yes he did

Giada: ok, I lied.

Sue: what??

Giada: Since Ever After, he's done several shows, including Desperate Housewives

Sue: dayummm

Giada: (which I don't watch, so I didn't know... lol)

Sue: me either

Giada: and he was in MI2

Ok, so anyway...

If you love the fairytale thing, this will really do it for you. They want each other

Sue: Tom Cruise gives me the creeps since he went koo koo for cocoa puffs

Giada: They're willing to fight their circumstances

Sue: ahhhhh but the almost kiss and then the kiss


Giada: although the correlation between the willingness to fight is a little skewed... lol

GUUUUHHHHH. Agreed. lol

Sue: yeah

Giada: Because it's AWESOME

Sue: so good movie shows the chemistry between two good actors

Giada: it's the 'finally, I'm kissing him/her and this is way fucking better than I expected' kiss

Sue: who were NOT in a relationship


Giada: trufax, peeps.


Giada: alright, hoor, are we finally to the Rob?

Sue: ahhhhh

Giada: here she goes.


Sue: oh yesss Little Ashes

I have to say I have seen a LOT of kissing on screen and stage


for realz

Giada: (it's true, she has)

Sue: and my friends are totally into PDA

Sue: well aside from AJ

Giada: (cue BSB)

We won't go into that..


well this kiss is something else. My reason for throwing this in here aside from my being a Pattinperv

Giada: The whole fucking movie was something else, Sue.

Sue: yes it was

is simply to say this to the shippers

Giada: *listen up, youse*

Sue: while the Twilight kiss was hot I am not necessarily thinking it was because of the Stew. Rob could kiss a brick wall and make it look hot. Just saying

am I being a tad biased??

no not really

Giada: naaaaaaaahhhh

Sue: his screen kissing skills are supurb

and the directors really make the most of those camera angles to get the lip action going

Giada: They're getting more and more clever... like we need that shit.

srsly. Silly directors.

Sue: we are comparing and contrasting

Giada: Anyway, not to completely derail the man-love train, but I'm gonna say this.

I think, that, all things considered, any and all face-sucking between the Pattz and the Stew are, honestly, no more special than any of the movies we've talked about here today. Yes, it was great.

They have an excellent chemistry, and let's face it, they've practically spent the last two years together, almost non-stop. So I would think (and this is coming from someone who is NOT that experienced, numbers-wise) that being on screen with a friend would make the interaction that much easier to do.

You're more comfortable with the person, and that probably translates on screen.

Sue: I also think that a great deal of the epicness of a kiss is the build up

Giada: Like I said earlier, I really couldn't give two shits if they're dating or not, and I can't think of a celebrity out there that I *would* care about their unf-status.

Sue: and that happens with a good script

Giada: That it does...

Sue: a good script

Giada: So thanks, Melissa Rosenberg, for handling that for us.

Sue: that builds the relationship and shows the tension

(we disagree on that I do not like the Twilight script I do not think it did enough to build the relationship it went from "I hate you" to "I can't live without you" without anything in between)

Giada: absolutely. And it helps when the actors take some initiative and go with what's going on.

Sue: yes

Giada: well, she did a good job with smooch placement. Just saying.

Sue: the actors can only do well with what they are given

yes she did

and even Cathy Cougar living out her Rob Fantasies using KStew’s body

Giada: Everyone we've talked about today has that ability, which is what makes them so good at what they do.

Sue: poor KStew

Giada: jesus, Sue. lol

Sue: she was used like a doll. I feel bad for her


Giada: Is there solid evidence that she was cougaring? Or are we speculating? Just curious.

Sue: no no evidence, aside from the look of old lady lust

like I can talk


Giada: lol

Yeah, well, you're a church lady so shut the fuck up

Sue: I am

Giada: You're not supposed to be cougaring.

Sue: really and truly

Giada: leave that to Cathy.

Sue: I do not cougar, I want to mommy him but that is another topic LOL

Giada: for another day

Giada: Alright, hoors, so now that Sue is properly duct taped

Sue: for now

Giada: Yes they are. We know several...

Sue: onto my talk on THIS KISS - LA

I know you get two WHY cause I want to watch them so I KNOW you do as well!!!

what makes it so hot? is it the lighting? the slow approach?

the script where the build-up of the relationship has culminated in this wet lovely scene?? it is the look in thier eyes? is it the fact they are two guys?

Sue: I rhymed

Giada: you did.

Sue: yes I did

Giada: *pats back*

Sue: what makes this kiss HOT?????

well this conservative Midwesterner is gonna tell you

Giada: tell us, sister.

Sue: Rob and Javier can ACT

two straight men pretending to be in LOVE

Giada: because you know neither of them are doing that shit in RL

no offense to anyone of that persuasion...

Sue: no they both have said they are straight

no problem either way

Giada: ok, so yeah, they are laying it down like it's their job...

because it IS their job.

Giada: And so, when, in Twilight, he's throwing down..

like it's his job...

it's because it IS his job. Just saying.

:So, in conclusion, what we want you pervy hoors to take from this is that there is a LOT of great romantic chemistry out there

Sue: the point is one cannot use a movie as "evidence" of anything

Giada: exactly.

Sue: right

Giada: When Sue asked me to do this with her, the first thing I thought was 'will there be liquor involved?'

Sue: I could grab a beer!

Giada: YESSS! :) I'm already hopped up on pain meds so I'm gtg. :) So, anyway, I was excited to take the opportunity to talk about something a little ways outside of our normal realm. Again, we’re laying down the chocolate and broadening our scope. J

Sue: SO let us KNOW what movie shows the best ON screen Chemistry

give us stuff and we will give back

Giada: absolutely.

Sue: cause we are generous hoors like that

Giada: we are.

It's like an emotional Salvation Army over here.

So get on with it, tell us who YOU think has the best on-screen chemistry… and next week, we’ll discuss the Art of the Fight, or rather, Let’s Fight and Make Up… I’ll Take The Top.

Sue: but I want to be on top!!

Leave us some love let us know if this is something you like seeing or if you wanna participate give us a shout...


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