April 11, 2010

RaeCullen's Review of Loner, by Nilla

Loner by Nilla, (At Twilighted)

Summary: Edward Cullen was a loner, an outcast. He clearly hated everybody, including himself. He was not a nice person. So, why was I so drawn to him? And why did I get the crazy feeling he felt the same way? WARNING: This story will deal with both child abuse and rape. If that bothers you too much, I strongly recommend that you don’t read.

So one day I’m just hanging out on Twitter (like always) and I see a tweet: “Edward is a loner and doesn’t talk. Read this fic.” Well, obviously this peaked my interest and I immediately ran over to Twilighted and checked it out. Needless to say, I was hooked instantly.

Some people may or may not know this about me; but I’m a sucker for tortured Edward’s with psychological problems. I have no idea what this says about me (haha), but I really just like a well written, angsty fic. ‘Loner’ covers a very difficult topic of child abuse and I think it takes guts to write about such a sensitive topic and the psychological problems that follow such a horrific experience. Let me start out by saying that so far, Nilla has covered this topic very realistically. Perhaps it’s my social worker nature that finds this so interesting, or maybe it’s just the possibility of Bella helping to fix him that I find romantic on some crazy fucked-up level.

Lonerward completely pwns me.

I’m not going to lie, the beginning of the prologue is hard to read. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s a flashback to Edward as a nine-year-old child and is completely heart breaking:
I heard the door open and fought back the urge to hide under the covers. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, but I refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I could feel the bed shift as he sat down, and held my breath, wondering what I had done wrong this time. Not that it really mattered, of course. He would always find a reason to punish me.
Throughout the story we get little snippets of Edward’s past. Nilla does an impeccable job of planting just enough information out there to leave you wanting more. The summary is true; Edward is a loner and doesn’t speak to anyone when he doesn’t have to. He’s pretty much a complete prick. It’s so wonderful to see a FLAWED Edward! In fact, he’s such a jerk that his first ‘interaction’ with Bella goes not so smoothly:
“Watch where you’re going, bitch.” 

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. My eyes widened in disbelief. Did he just call me a bitch? Blushing furiously, I shook my head, as if to clear it. “W-what?” I managed to stutter. Clearly, my mind wasn’t working. Otherwise, I would have been able to come up with a snarky response. Sure, I was the one who had run into him. Still, he didn’t have to be a jerk about it.

“Just get the fuck out of my way.” With that, he pushed his way past me and I was left to stare after him with my mouth wide open.
Yeah, like I said.. prick. He pretty much treats everyone this way.

Of course, this doesn’t discourage our Bella. Sure, she’s put off by his rude and defensive personality, but the more she begins to learn about him, the more she sees that it’s a defense mechanism. Edward may be a loner by choice, but he’s also avoided by almost everyone that comes in contact with him; making it difficult for him to form a friendship with someone even if he wanted to - then, of course, in waltzes Bella and changes everything he thought he knew. Everyone treats him like the school freak, including his brother Emmett. *gasp* I know. I was surprised too. Edward and Emmett do not get a long.

This Bella is sensitive but also strong. I love nothing more then a strong Bella. Timid Bella’s are nice and all, but I love a Bella that can just stand up for what she believes in, and what she wants.

I don’t want to give any other details or events away so I’m going to stop here.
‘Loner’ is angsty, heart-breaking and emotionally gripping; her characters are visual,
strong and very very real. Like I said before, she portrays the topic of child abuse, and the after effects of the trauma, sensitively and realistically.

There are so far 16 chapters and we’re just getting started! I can’t wait to see where Nilla is going to take us next! This is a brilliantly written little-known gem and I think everyone should get their asses over to Twilighted and read it! I never steer anyone wrong when it comes to fic rec’s. Some of my friends have dubbed me the ‘Queen of Fic Recs’. Trust me… you’ll thank me after you read this.



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