April 2, 2010

So many fics, so little time

*tap tap* is this thing on??

umm OK Hello my name is Sue and I am a Twilight Fan Fic addict

(you all can answer here if you like)

I am not kidding when I say I read fan fic like it is MY JOB. I read an embarrassing amount of fics...I have noticed that FF has taken over most of my life. SO, in an effort to help others from suffering the same numb-ass syndrome that I have been coping with, I am starting this blog.

OK, OK, that is not really true I was encouraged by my friend Shannon and a LARGE group of others to start this little ditty here. my goal ...well

I am gonna talk about Fan Fic

So this will be the most boring entry in the history of blogging EVER cause I get to tell you about ME!

I am a mom of 5 boys married living in the sticks and I read fan fic LOL

(see told you BORING)

My favorite fics are AU Human. I like them to stick to cannon pairs. Why? Cause I am weird like that. I have read others that are not AU human but not many. I like fics that do NOT have real life people so sadly sorry all I am not fond of Rob fics..does this mean I have not read them? NOPE. Again, see Fanfic addict status!!

I have certain "rules" if you will about my Fan Fic.

First: I know many authors think it is cute or inventive to pull certain things from SM's books and bring them into their stories. RARELY have I seen this done well ..most of the time it is only a repeat of what has already been done. When you read as many Fanfics as I do...well it gets ummm annoying.. yeah annoying is a good word for it.

Second: I LOVE LEMONS. (I also hold some serious pervy hoor status over at the BBR on Twilighted and I LOVE LEMONS) however I like a story to be around the LEMON not lemons with a few words in between the fucking.

(oh guess I should've said I kinda swear A LOT get used to it)

Third: I have issues when the saccharine content of a fic that makes my teeth hurt. "I love you" 3 times in every paragraph is too much.. too many sweeties, babies, snookipuss and diddums or other cutsie names makes me wanna RETCH.

I know there are more but I forget them. SO, for now that will do.

OH, and be warned I do go fangirl over certain authors!! I do the whole squeal and throw my undies at them and cry it is pathetic really, but I am not ashamed!! No, I am NOT ashamed!!

So my blog is gonna be about me putting my twisted addiction to good use to save those who might share my opinion from fics they would not want to read. I am altruistic like that I will take one for the team and read the good the bad the ugly and give you my opinion on the fic WITHOUT spoiling the plot line. ALSO it might introduce you to fics you would not have found otherwise. I plan on reviewing 3 fics a week and IF I am VERY VERY lucky I might even get the authors to answer questions ...

OH and before anyone gets on my ass about this

I do not think I have to review The Office DUH we know it is fabulous

Same thing goes with Wide Awake. Those two fics have such an enormous following. I could only repeat what other better writers have said. I mean, if you want my opinion of them, cool. I am happy to tell people WHY I think those fics are "drop everything and read them RIGHT NOW"fics. But I think most people know that shit already...

So I will rate the fics I read on a panty throwing system. The more panties I wanna throw at the author, the better the fic...

AND to answer my own question at the top, I do not think I can write. I try. I suck. I know it. I have no issues with owning that. OH and I can't spell and my punctuation and grammar are pretty horrific... BUT I can read .. so ummm yeah that is me ....

First story up, on Monday, will be

The Sacrificial Lamb by Lalina

..why?? WHY is Lalina first?? read it and find out .... here's the link!!


and come back on Monday and find out why I think this is an awesome freaking fic ....

Got a fic you want me to give my opinion on? Or a fic you think you wanna read but you are not sure if it is one you should? Drop me a line. HOW? I have no clue I have not figured that part out yet. But I'll get it I swear !!


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