April 10, 2010

SCREEN QUEENS: Sex Standing Up, Chemistry In Dance

Sue: Today, we are looking at Sex Standing Up, otherwise known as The Art of the Dance. YES.

Giada: YES. Because what red-blooded girl doesn't like to dance?

Besides Bella. But she doesn't count.

S: And there are so few damn men out there that can actually dance

Except Edward

G: AMEN. Which is why we love him so.

S: I know. Who wears the pants in that relash? IDK. But his sparkling looks good on a dance floor.

G: Ok, on to the clips. Sue, as always, brings you the old-school love.


G: And I've got some new stuff too. Er, well, newer, by comparison.

S: Most things are.

G: So, since SM likes to refer to Edward and Esme as Fred and Ginger, why don't we kick it off with Sue's first pick?


Let's begin WITH the classic dances of Fred and Ginger. If you do not see heat here then get your damn eyes checked!

Fred and Ginger danced together in only 10 movies.

G: Please, silence while Sue checks her files... :)

(we checked the files and came up lacking… but just know that it happened.)

S: Our example comes from the movie Roberta. I KNOW I have seen this. But sadly, I forget. Thank God for IMDB:

Parisian couturier and deposed Russian princess Stephanie (Irene Dunne) has her hands full when her partner dies, leaving half of their business to American football player John Kent (Randolph Scott). Kent knows nothing about fashion, but sparks fly as the two try to learn to run a company together. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers supply some fantastic dance numbers to standards including "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" and "I'll Be Hard to Handle."

Dance Scene from Roberta, with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers


G: Alright, you writers who love to schlep off of already-made-storylines (mainly, myself, but for those of you who want to give me a good birthday pressie come March), you can do up this little ditty for me:



Nobody puts Baby in a corner.... And nobody can fucking watch this clip and not LOOOOOOOVE it.

Just saying.

S: OH I love Dirty Dancing

G: (sorry for the link, btw... apparently no one wants to give me embedding code)

S: everyone wants a Johnny

G: yes they do.

Excuse for Gratuitous Use of Eye Candy

*crosses self*


G: Bless his heart.

Ok, Sue? Next clip?

S: OK. Next I am gonna go with a Tango. I fucking LOVE the Tango. My next movie example is from the Mask of Zorro.

G: Yay for the tango.


G: and YAY for ANTONIO.

S: and that chick that married that old dude

G: We've been here before, friends. Nothing has changed in our devotion.


You can see I am all for Antonio, and the chick that married the old dude!

G: It's true.

S: This clip happens when Antonio is at a banquet and he has to distract her father. So he decides to dance with her, and to make her father get him to leave the daughter alone he, of course, dances a VERY sexy, VERY hot TANGO. Enjoy!

Tango from Mask of Zorro, with Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta Jones

G: :)

S: *fans self*

G: Always a good time.

S: THAT was sex standing up. GUHHHHH… Lucky chick that married an old dude!

G: lol...

Now as for myself, I'm a little more subtle.

As awesome as all that is, I'm more of a 'romance-me-with-flowers-and-candles-but-don't-get-too-corny' kind of girl. And that brings me to...


S: Awwwwwwww…

G: It's the fairy tale for grown-ups, for sure.

S: My favorite is part is where the prince starts singing and gets hit by all the guys on bikes


G: That was pretty awesome. And I'll admit, there are parts of the movie that make me cringe, but seriously, who doesn't love a little costumed McDreamy? I know I sure do.



S: (Sue never watches TV)


*turns caps off*

S: (Sue never saw that show)

G: sweet baby jesus.

Ok, well, since Sue apparently hasn't clued in to the 21st century yet, I'll drop you the clip whilst I educate her, quickly.

Bend over, bitch. :)

S: Yes, dear.

G: Alright. *brushes hands off* I think that should do it.

Sue? You have one more for us?

And another...

S: OF COURSE. ANOTHER TANGO, this time with J.Lo


G: Her ginormous badonkadonk

S: Richard Gere.

G: Oh, Richard. Ok. :)

S: Her ass is smaller than mine. Shut up.

G: Looking at it proportionally speaking, hoor.

S: OK. So, J.Lo is a dance instructor and Richie is a bored married working stiff. He rides home from work every day, and sees this dance studio with a woman looking out the window every night, at the same time. She looks forlorn and sad, and he is intrigued by her.

G: I will hands her a tissue.


One night, he goes and secretly signs up for lessons.

G: sneaky sneaky!


As the story goes on, they become friends. But not in a sexual way. This scene is her showing him the passion that is THE TANGO!

Tango Scene from Shall We Dance, with Richard Gere and J.Lo

G: Excellent.


G: Love me some Richard Gere. That man will never get old.

S: OH he will, but he ages like Sean Connery.

G: Pretty Woman, anyone?


G: See, Sean Connery is not my particular bag of tea.

Uh, cup of tea.


S: OMG! I do not know you anymore!!

G: lol

I never said I thought he was hot.

S: That to me is like saying Jack Black is not funny.

G: Maybe in his younger days...



G: lol

S: I need to introduce you to his FIRST movie, Darby O’Gill and the Little People.

A young Sean Connery... yum.

VERY hot.

G: Apparently I'm going to get *my* education, folks. :)

S: He was 19. GUHHHHHHHH.maybe I am probably wrong but what else is new I do know that was his first American film so ....

G: Oh yeah?

S: OMG. It was a Disney movie. AND, he sang!!

G: haha... I'm youtubing it right now.

And I will save it for later, but FIRST

And LAST, but certainly not least, we have my last pick for our little chat this week...

It's Save the Last Dance with Julia Stiles. Love her.

As far as Save the Last Dance goes, it's not normally my thing. I like hip-hop, but I am very picky about my movies. This one happened to be on one afternoon when I got home (my sister was watching it) and I sat down and loved it.

Loved. It.

S: Sue does not listen to that new age kid stuff… LOL

G: haha… ‘New Age’, she says.

S: Damn whippersnappers.

G: You make me feel so young, hoor.

S: I do what I can

G: Well, Lord knows I appreciate it. :)

G: So there you have it, guys, some of our favorite vertical mambo. Truly, you can't go wrong with a dude who knows how to dance

S: YUP. But sadly, I do not think the old saying is true, that a woman knows how a man will be in bed based on the way he dances.

G: No, not true.

S: cause if that were so most men would NOT be getting laid.

G: But it's fun to speculate. When you’re drunk, especially.



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